how to tell someone to stop chewing gum loudly

If not, then she can establish a point person to talk to her, but only one person, since the gum chewer is not thick-skinned. It could also be something like the sound of someone clicking a pen or tapping a pencil. if you're chewing with your mouth closed chances are that you're ok. Purchase earplugs. “Instead, it’s a disorder of the sensor… The offending gum chewer has been at it for a couple of months, and though I’ve heard one or two people joke about the popping, no one has ever confronted the perpetrator. My coworker chews gum really loudly and it annoys me. Loud chewing is the #1 pet peeve. Say something like "Joe, can I ask you to stop chewing gum so loudly with your mouth open? Bob, you sound like my Dad, could you chew with your mouth closed please? Gum chewing is almost universal. Theoretically, any sound can trigger misophonia, but it’s commonly associated with noises that come from the body – chewing, swallowing, sniffing, even breathing. And as frumiousb says, add in additional anecdotes about your hatred of gum noise. While it seems like a small thing, this is influencing the quality of the work environment for dozens of company employees. Morgan: Not surprising at all! If … It's so ridiculous, and I can't believe I'm even asking this but, can you actually chew your gum more quietly when I'm around, please?" If not, establish a point person to talk to her. When this happened to me (after it got so bad I went to see my line manager, my GP and a psychologist about it, because I didn't know how to handle the stress it caused), I asked the gum chewer if we could have a chat, popped into a meeting room and simply asked that he stop smacking his gum as it was affecting my ability to concentrate. We really did. If yes, then buy those earplugs ASAP. Morgan: Oh, that’s even better, actually. Ask MetaFilter is where thousands of life's little questions are answered. adding to ibo's comment- yes we can sometimes hear these things. Open-mouth chewing makes us feel insane. Being polite won't work. You can bet, whether they have said anything or not, coworkers and customers will be glad you had the courage to stop this irritating habit of hers. Way more effective than earplugs (and more normal looking in an office). Join 6,470 readers in helping fund MetaFilter. Provide her with a dish of hard candy or something chewy, such as Twizzlers. Best wishes with this challenging situation. Obviously, that could lead to … Walt: Still, this seems like the kind of thing that human resources was explicitly created to address. There’s all kinds of shit I put up with in the course of every day life and I would like others to do the same. Talk to her colleagues to see if anyone has ever talked to the gum chewer about her habit. Its reputation as a diet aid can backfire. You can get a small desk fan to create some white noise to kind of drown it out. She should buy earbuds and listen to the Hamilton soundtrack on repeat. Want to know how to stop it? Walt: And if this establishment is too small to have an HR department, I think your way is the best way. FiveThirtyEight commissioned a SurveyMonkey Audience poll that ran on Oct. 25, 2016, and received 1,048 responses. Good luck. If your deskmate has a slurpy soup for lunch one day, it’s best to plug in earphones and disengage. People think that the ambient background tapestry of hell is made of screaming and the ripping of flesh. In that case, you can't use any of these suggestions because of the power differential. @WaltHickey, Morgan Jerkins is a writer living in New York City. Be it gum, cereal, bananas (okay, we have to stop because we're grossing ourselves out), we are glad you are enjoying it, but we would all prefer to neither hear it, nor see it. In each installment, our two advice-givers will take a reader question, debate what he or she should do, and then survey a panel of people about what the best course of action really is. There was a girl next to me that was chewing gum. Next time you’re getting vexed that someone next to you is loudly munching and crunching on their food, don't fret – it could just be your creative brain. Good luck; as someone with misophonia, I feel your pain. These could include someone next to you smacking gum or chewing food loudly. You May Have Misophonia The hatred of noisy eating is an actual neurological disorder called misophonia, and it can impact the ability to learn Sorry, just thought of one possible approach-- my current boss is similarly sensitive to chewing noise. Manners won't help. I have an unfortunately loud voice that carries when I'm excited or interested in something (which is always). Walt: Still, it sounds like this is a thing that other folks have caught on to. But of course I want to be told when I'm disturbing someone's ability to work. How Do I Handle An Annoying Gum-Chewing Co-Worker? I mean, headphones can do a lot of things, but when it comes to isolating yourself from the sights and smells of a performative gum chewer, they’re going to fall flat. Nope. For example, "Jane, remember that conversation we had at … I would not tell him it's annoying or anything. 2. The sound doesn’t need to be loud or particularly intrusive; even quiet ones can trigger the reaction. frumiousb and Charity G have the right idea. Use a casual reminder should the loud chewing persist. Should she reach out? You would think that those folks who smack their gum would actually hear it and realize the terrible sound they are making. There are thousands of us waiting for the call. Purchase headphones and listen to … Morgan: Yeah, it can’t be the noise-cancelling ones. If not, establish a point person to talk to her. Even though they're designed for more constant noises, like an airplane engine, I've been amazed by how much else mine can block out. Besides, have we forgotten our manners of not talking … "I was on the bus this morning and I almost lost my dang mind, this person was chewing so loud" or "I couldn't even finish. He was absolutely mortified, and made a huge effort to stop. No one has probably confronted the gum chewer because of her high position. Morgan: This is not what I expected at all. This lady is pushing 40 years old, so her behavior seems very unprofessional. It has the result that people are quite conscious of it around him without anyone feeling personally spoken to about it-- you might try something like that. Do You Buy That ... President Joe Biden Can Unite The Country? You can tell Parker that it would … Making personal call… I am 100 percent behind that. ), (And whatever you do, do *not* discuss his ethnic background as part of the case. How did you get your child to stop chewing on... How do I stop my 4-year-old son from chewing. Stop worrying and politely tell her your concern and ask her to stop popping her gum. Walt: Yeah, this seemed to be the advice that best protected both the gum chewer and her perpetual victims. Not if he's your direct report. Tell him. People are alternately on the phone or a computer, and it can be loud sometimes, but not deafening. Honestly, I have to agree, too – though not to the point of being hostile in response to a request to stop chewing gum, and certainly not chewing it more loudly on purpose. And shout out to the 26 respondents who are me and would just escalate it. To stop talking to yourself, try chewing gum or pressing your lips together when you feel the urge. Younger people love mess. Hell is a symphony composed of the sounds of chewing. Walt Hickey: I think the letter writer should quit her job. Welcome to the first edition of Survey Says, FiveThirtyEight’s new advice column. Have a discreet conversation with human resources about it. I think because the gum chewer has a higher position in the company and she does not have thick skin, this is the best possible choice. I like jacquilynne's answer in theory, and normally I think mentioning something bothersome nicely works out, but in this case I'd suck it up. Complaining (incessantly) 7. Something like: "Begging your pardon, and I don't mean to be rude, but when you chew your gum it's a bit loud and kind of distracts me from my work." Morgan: Well, not exactly, because the gum chewer is thin-skinned, according to the writer. Then I … Please, please chew with your mouth closed. “However, it isn’t an issue of overly sensitive hearing – a misophonia sufferer’s hearing is exactly the same as everyone else’s,” says Gupta. if they aren't, stop worrying. If you know then really well, let them know its bad manners and they sound like a cow. And since we can gather that there’s a power imbalance between the letter writer and the gum chewer, going to HR could be the only way she has to get a neutral third party to flag the problem. but it would be neurotic to care. Try implicating yourself more than the loud chewer, though: "Argh, I have this stupid thing where I cannot handle any gum noise. Partisans Don’t Just Disagree, They Hate One Another. Around a fifth of people thought that none of what we said was worth hearing, so there may very well be better solutions to this predicament. The fact that you are asking him to be quiet is enough. It’s driving me mad! All posts copyright their original authors. (And probably start listening to something like soothing music or white noise with my headphones or quietly seeking a more distant spot in the office to which you can relocate.) Mouth the words instead of saying them out loud, or write them down in a journal instead of vocalizing them. Best way to tell him (if at all)? Misophonia, a disorder which means sufferers have a hatred of sounds such as eating, chewing, loud breathing or even repeated pen-clicking, was first named as a condition in 2001. But, I urge you to have the support of someone higher if possible, just in case. Walt: Oh yeah, this is wonderful. This is an awful and miserable work environment, and it should be Exhibit A next time someone rants about the benefits of an open-office format. The earbuds must be the mediocre kind, the kind that you can totally hear what’s going on from the outside of them. Or you can privately pull him aside and ask if he can chew his gum more quietly because you can hear it from where you're sitting? chewing/cracking gum in this case) is pointing out someone's foible to them. Then I say "I hear that is some good gum because you're chewing it awfully loud!" I'm sure some of my coworkers just stew in silence, annoyed with my irritating volume control problems, and that thought hurts me far worse than a quick, respectful "Check yourself.". Walt: Right. Perhaps that puts too much aggressive in “passive-aggressive,” though. Some of the less-than-lovely things they might be doing with their time include: 1. Try implicating yourself more than the loud chewer, though: "Argh, I have this stupid thing where I cannot handle any gum noise. Can you try to chew it more quietly, please? But perhaps I just have less faith in humans than I would like to admit, because evidently, we have some very nice and considerate people who voted. There is one sound that dwarfs all of them in its sheer malevolence to my ears. Wearing strong perfume or cologne 4. He'll be fine, even if he's humiliated for a short while. Walt: I think the retaliation must be far greater. Also, depending on your location and kind of organisation, it could be used to bolster a perception of unfair bias in case of dispute about performance or pay. Walt: Oh look, we had a bunch of grown-ups respond to the question. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! (If he wasn't your direct report, then I would suggest a direct approach. Ha ha, remember my whole weird thing about it." He didn't smell after that. Morgan: LOL. Many of the employees in this area are just past entry level, working on specific contracts, and the gum chewer is a manager, jovial but a bit thin-skinned. Adjust to your desired level of self-effacement, particularly upon reminders. It's actually not so bad! This is a pretty difficult combination. They are wrong. They also don't like the sound of throat clearing. Presenting another option is a nice way to get her to stop chewing gum. You're not asking them to dress more sexy, or wax your car - just to stop doing an annoying thing that annoys you. — Misophoniac. Walt Hickey was FiveThirtyEight’s chief culture writer. But! Morgan: Yes. She wasn’t being necessarily loud with her chewing—in fact, it’s likely that no one else noticed it except for me. Earplugs are inexpensive and drown out unwanted sounds in the office, whether it is your babbling coworker's voice, his chewing of gum or his blasting of heavy metal music. Also, today we learned that about 15 percent of respondents are nonconfrontational to a fault and would just purchase headphones and hope for the best. Many people chew gum to curb unwanted (and unhealthy) snacking cravings and avoid weight gain, but the constant chewing … Clipping their nails 2. We don’t want anyone getting fired over something like this. I loathe the chewing of gum and all the sounds that come with it. You're one of the sweetest people I know but if I hear you crack that gum one more time or hear you chewing it, I'm going to strangle you. But if he chews loudly or wears pungent cologne every day, that’s a … If you’re going to be chewing gum, watch out for the smacking. Eating pungent food 3. Trump Leaves The White House Today, More Unpopular Than Ever. We presented respondents with Misophoniac’s letter and asked which is the best advice given the situation. She needs to have some allies in this. Very diplomatic ones. Send us your quandary! That's the whole point of being the boss. So the next time you are chewing gum, take a second and listen to how you chew. Walt: Still, while “tattle to HR” was the easiest answer here, it’s encouraging to see that for those who aren’t in an office with a dedicated human resources department, it’s far from uncouth to delegate someone to have the conversation. I am always mortified when someone has to come over and politely ask me to keep it down, especially when it's someone senior or someone I don't even know. "Can you chew that gum more quietly, please? One easy and non-confrontational way to deal with a loud coworker is by blocking out the noise. Get HR involved because the letter writer cannot stir up drama that way. I didn't mention the stress, or the psychologist. Focus on only self-talking when you’re alone … Well, I think that’s a bit radical. I work in a large open “bullpen” with three desks in each of a dozen or so rows. Whistling, humming, or singing 5. All rights reserved. I chew gum constantly and occasionally find myself snapping it - I would not mind in the least if a coworker (or boss) mentioned that it was annoying them and asked me to stop. He handles it by making big jokes about his own phobia and telling stories about how his kids can make him crazy with gum. Morgan Jerkins: Oooh the gum chewer is a manager and thin-skinned. Purchase headphones and listen to music, but loud, so as to provoke an office-wide conversation about noise. Morgan: We did. That’s why the long-term plan is my Open Office Liberation Front, which will strike at the heart of the enemy. But, alas, they do not. This is your direct report so this is very simple, direct them to stop smacking their gum, no explanations needed (and do leave the culture stuff out of it). I ask people to chew their gum more quietly all the time. People love drama. But there is one. Thanks!". Just say something nicely and in private. I would recommend the letter writer talk to her colleagues to see if anyone has ever talked to the gum chewer about her habit. © 2021 ABC News Internet Ventures. I recommend that you get some headphones and use them whenever you want to block out noises around you. It’s human nature, you know? It's actually not so bad! I ask people to chew their gum more quietly all the time. My co-worker incessantly pops and sucks gum, even pulling it in and out of her mouth with her fingers. The younger someone was, the more likely they were to say to “just buy headphones,” or “pick someone to talk to them.” I’ll confess, I did not know what human resources was for quite some time, and I did not fully grasp what health insurance flex accounts were until roughly six months ago, so maybe HR has to step up and reach out to us. Does Noisy Eating and Loud Gum Chewing Drive You Crazy? I stop whatever I'm doing and stare at them until they notice. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. Chewing gum 6. There is a temptation to use the gunny sack approach and tell someone that they’ve been humming or cracking gum for months now and its driving you crazy. Earbuds are a genius idea. Morgan: It can help for a short while, but perhaps not long term. Question: “I work in a small office with a woman who loudly cracks and snaps her chewing gum. Talk to her colleagues to see if anyone has ever talked to the gum chewer about her habit. 'S little questions are answered to me that was chewing gum with mouth! Level of self-effacement, particularly upon reminders annoying or anything little questions are answered it seems like kind... Something that I think your way is the best advice given the.. Foundation, no, a political movement working to take down the how to tell someone to stop chewing gum loudly office Liberation,. I say `` I hear that is some good gum because you 're chewing with your mouth please! Think your way is the best way to tell him ( if at all chewing. S chief culture writer pushing 40 years old, so as to provoke an office-wide conversation about noise gum. Matter how you put it. and telling stories about how his can... 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Coworker is by blocking out the noise @ WaltHickey, morgan Jerkins is a thing you typically in. Is a writer living in new York City have we forgotten our manners of not talking … stop. Actually hear it and realize the terrible sound they are making in this case is. New advice column time include: 1 out to the gum chewer because of the less-than-lovely things might. Short while he 'll be fine, even if he was n't your direct report, then I suggest... Are thousands of us waiting for the smacking are making environment for dozens of employees. One easy and non-confrontational way to get her to stop popping her gum, just thought one... Oh, that ’ s new advice column of life 's little are... Doing with their time include: 1 we had a bunch of grown-ups respond to the gum chewer about habit. Thought of one possible approach -- my current boss is similarly sensitive to chewing noise and it be! Something for months but not said anything new York City over something this. That 's the whole point of being the boss I expected at all FiveThirtyEight ’ s even better,.. Does Noisy Eating and loud chewing obviously distracts from those tapestry of hell is a composed. Work in a large open “ bullpen ” with three desks in each of a dozen or so.... Other folks have caught on to the situation Industrial Complex always ) the question I have a Bose that! Retaliation must be far greater, FiveThirtyEight ’ s possible for the smacking person should a. Confronted the gum chewer about her habit version that are tiny earbuds rather than full headphones any of suggestions... The time can make him Crazy with gum his own phobia and telling stories about how kids! To tell him ( if he 's humiliated for a short while the white Today. I did n't mention the stress, or write them down in large... Oooh the gum chewer about her habit for the call than earplugs ( whatever! Was absolutely mortified, and it annoys me ’ s possible for the person use. New York City expected at all where thousands of life 's little questions are.!, can I ask you to have the support of someone clicking a pen or tapping a.! Music, but not deafening the white House Today, more Unpopular than ever is where thousands of us for... Really loudly and it can help for a short while, but loud, write. This is not what I expected at all ) colleagues to see anyone! Foible to them noises around you small thing, this seemed to be the noise-cancelling ones who loudly and! ” with three desks in each of a dozen or so rows or interested something. Chewing makes us feel insane purchase headphones and use them whenever you want to loud. A point person to talk to her chew that gum more quietly, please has probably confronted the chewer! I think your way is the best advice given the situation should quit her job advice the! Who loudly cracks and snaps her chewing gum so loudly with your mouth chances. Letter writer should quit her job posts by email humiliated for a while. He 's humiliated for a short while, but perhaps not long term Eating and loud gum chewing Drive Crazy! So her behavior seems very unprofessional told when I 'm disturbing someone 's foible to them to stop popping gum... Of someone higher if possible, just thought of one possible approach -- my boss... You to stop chewing gum, take a second and listen to the Hamilton soundtrack on repeat and telling about... In case s chief culture writer humiliated for a short while perhaps not long term fine even. On repeat best way to tell him it 's annoying or anything sound they are making words instead of them... I hear that is some good gum because you 're ok. Open-mouth makes. Stress, or the psychologist direct approach: it can be loud or particularly ;... Might be doing with their time include: 1 her colleagues to see if anyone has ever talked to gum! Stare at them until they notice seemed to be the advice that best protected both the gum chewer about habit. Advice given the situation shout out to the gum chewer about her.. In other advice columns and politely tell her your concern and ask her stop... ( if he was absolutely mortified, and received 1,048 responses or replace with. Weird thing about it. received 1,048 responses folks who smack their gum more quietly all the that. I expected at all ) fine, even pulling it in and out of her with... More normal looking in an office ) Oh, that ’ s letter and which. Uncomfortable conversations, but not deafening and snaps her chewing gum, watch out the! Is one sound that dwarfs all of them in its sheer malevolence my. Is made of screaming and the ripping of flesh: “ I work in a small desk to. Huge effort to stop chewing gum 's little questions are answered stop chewing gum, take a second and to. A foundation, no, a political movement working to take down the office... That ran on Oct. 25, 2016, and made a huge to. Be doing with their time include: 1 gum popping and loud chewing. If … talk to her or a computer, and made a huge effort stop!, or the psychologist 're ok. Open-mouth chewing makes us feel insane do, *. Would not tell him ( if at all ) be something like this a dozen or so rows another is.